This is my first blog posting. My son, Nathan begged me to start this and I'm finally taking his advise. It's been a rough six to eight months so writing happy thoughts is impossible right now. My brother, Paul Goss Jr. died suddenly and unexpectedly in February, and then my grand niece, Faith died in April. Watching my niece, nephew, brother, Tony, and parents suffer through these deaths has been excruciating. To add to this, my only son, daughter-in-law and grandkids are moving seven hours away in three weeks. My closest friend and confidant, Charlene first moved away, and then had a dangerous heart surgery last Monday. Also my once happy-go-lucky husband is overly tired and stressed and hasn't been himself for a long time. All of these separations and changes are just too much . I'm not handling them well at all.

Paul's death affected me in many many ways. I miss him so much. I cry when I see his picture or see someone who looks like him. I cry when I talk about my family and remember that I had two brothers but now have only one. I cry cry cry all the time. Saturday is our yearly Memorial Day Celebration and I'm afraid to go. Paul has always attended this picnic and he won't be there. He's gone forever and I feel so alone. How have you dealt with the death of a sibling? How do you deal with separations?